Kitty confidential: 13 secret signals all cat owners need to know – from a quivering tail to airplane ears

Shortly after my partner and I adopted our two cats, our fluffy black one, Mambo, decided that I am his special human. Mambo rarely lets anyone else pet him, but he follows me everywhere, trilling to greet me, rubbing his cheek on my hand, sitting on my stuff or watching me work. He also loves it when I bring out his puzzle toys and treats for games. I did not expect to get this much attention from a cat, so I joked with friends that Mambo was behaving like a dog. But, when my cat behaviourist friend told me, “No, he is behaving like a CAT!” I decided to find out more.

As a new cat owner, I started questioning the popular belief that cats are less sociable and trainable than dogs. It seems that for every meme about dogs being our best friends, there is one about cats being aloof, weird, or murderous.

But, while it’s true that cats are solitary predators, the latest scientific evidence confirms what many of us already know from experience: cats are socially flexible creatures who become attached to their humans (like kittens to their mothers) and have their own ways of expressing affection, trust or their need for “alone time”.

Our feline pets signal their moods and feelings with every part of their body: their face, eyes, ears, whiskers and tail; their changing postures; and the direction and speed of their movements. But you need to look at more than any single body part or pose to really know what a cat is saying. If a cat with an arched back and bristly tail is retreating and hissing, it’s probably terrified. On the other hand, if they’re bouncing and skipping sideways, they might be feeling playful.

Learning to recognise cat body language is about observing movements in context and understanding the connection between behaviour and the bigger picture. Writing and illustrating my book, Kitty Language: An Illustrated Guide to Understanding Your Cat, has opened my eyes to the ways my cats talk to each other and to me, and it has given me a new appreciation for the sensitive, intelligent and expressive animals they – and all cats – are.

A relaxed cat’s body looks soft and flexible and moves languidly. (Tip: a cat with its paw pads not touching the ground is more relaxed than a cat whose paw pads are touching the ground.)

Visual signs

No tension in face and body
Fluid movements; not twitchy or jerky
Weight is balanced

What your cat may be feeling

Relaxed, content
“All is well”
“Just hanging out!”

Visual signs

Direct approach
Head position at shoulder height or higher
Ears forward
Tail is high and softly curled

What your cat may be feeling

Confident and comfortable
Friendly

Cats can express uncertainty in both a standing or a seated posture.

Visual signs

Stops moving
Head is below shoulder height
Slightly crouching, limbs tucked in

What your cat may be feeling

Unsure
Cautious
“Approach or retreat?”

Visual signs

Crouching close to the ground, keeping a distance
Tail is low or tucked down

What your cat may be feeling

Scared
Unsafe
Predicting danger or discomfort

The more frightened a cat is feeling, the smaller or flatter it will make itself.

Visual signs

Crouching, tucked-in head and limbs
All four paws are flat on the ground
Pupils are dilated

What your cat may be feeling

Terrified
“Don’t look at me”
“Leave me alone!”

Visual signs

Body is low to the ground, neck stretches forward
Focused stare, pupils may change size
Waits and watches, or creeps forward slowly

What your cat may be feeling

Very focused
Calculating distances
“I’m gonna get you!”

May look like peeing, but it expresses different needs.

Visual signs

Tail is high and sometimes quivering
Spraying urine on a vertical surface or an object higher than ground level

What your cat may be feeling

Stress, uncertainty
The need to reorient and confirm where they are
“There are weird changes in my home!”
“I need to make this place feel like home”
If unneutered, attracting mates through scent messages

Visual signs

Whiskers are spread out and away from the face (while focusing on something)
Mouth may appear puffed out

What your cat may be feeling

Excited
Curious
Measuring the distance to nearby prey or object

A cat may also pull back their whiskers for protection, when something is too close, and to avoid them being touched.

Visual signs

Whiskers are pressed back flat against the face, may look bunched together

What your cat may be feeling

Anxious
Overwhelmed
“Don’t touch my whiskers”

Also described as folded-down ears, lowered ears, invisible ears, or, if the tips are pointed to the side or back like wings, aeroplane ears.

Visual signs

Ears appear flat, openings aren’t visible
Ear tips point down or back

What your cat may be feeling

Scared
Anxious

Behaviour that cats use to transfer chemical signals from their facial glands and toe glands.

Visual signs

Rubbing their face and body against walls, furniture, and so on
Using claws to knead or scratch

What your cat may be feeling

Happy that objects and places smell familiar and reassuring
“I’ve been here” or “I live here”
Refreshing time stamps and signposts of places they have visited (the strength of a scent fades over time)
Sharing scent messages with other cats

Big tail movements could signal excitement, irritation, or overstimulation, depending on the context.

Visual signs

Tail is swinging or lashing – a big wagging, slapping, or thumping motion

What your cat may be feeling

Overwhelmed
Frustrated
“This is too much!”
“I can’t relax”

Seen when your cat is greeting someone (not to be confused with the quivering tail that happens before spraying).

Visual signs

Tail is vertical and vibrating from the base (not flicking)

What your cat may be feeling

Happy
Giddy
Super excited or really wants something